Really Bad Ideas

Ever find yourself doing something. Something you just know is wrong. Something that makes you call yourself crazy. But you keep on going anyhow. It's just too late. You can't go back. Denial I believe they call it.

You find yourself driving to the hospital with your new born baby on the back of the scooter because you're late for an appointment. Your wife said it was ok. You're late. You're not going to argue. It's definitely faster, you tell yourself. And you'll have more control over the pot holes than you would in a tuk-tuk, you tell yourself. You tell yourself a lot of things, but none of them are stop, what are you doing? Instead it's a lot of, I know this is wrong, but is it really? I'm not sure. Eye on the road. It's probably alright. But you know it isn't.

The baby behind you might be dehydrated, you tell yourself. He may have abdominal pains, you tell yourself. If we topple over, it's ok, we're already headed to the hospital, you tell yourself. You tell yourself a lot of things, but none of them are, turn back, what are you thinking?

The thai drivers really aren't that bad, you tell yourself. The guy hauling the 30 feet of rebar with his scooter seems like a decent guy, you tell yourself. You've seen them seat up to a family of six, you tell yourself. You tell yourself a lot of things, but it all boils down to, I really need to get one of those cool flip out baby seats that they babies like to stand up in to peer over the steering wheel.

Your mom probably won't read this far, you tell yourself. Not this far before she's already written you 3 emails. Not this far to check that you'd never, ever, take the baby on a motorbike. Not this far to see what a responsible parent you are, even though you might daydream about it.

I love writing this stuff...